lauramardon

Bechets Disease

2012-01-25T02:30:00.000-08:00

I don't know if I have mentioned it on here before but in 2010 I was diagnosed with Bechets Disease. Its a 'lifelong chronic syndrome', that in all honesty is annoying and painful.
There was a double edge sword sense of relief twinned with "wtf is Bechets?!"
Wikipedia didn't help either using phrases like "This syndrome can be fatal, due to ruptured vascular aneurysms, or severe neurological complications" but life goes on.
Please note, from here on in, I will go into detail about my symptoms and its pretty gross in my opinion.

For me to describe Bechets Disease (or Bechets Syndrome as it is also known) in another person would be impossible as it affects people in many different ways. Instead I have found a couple of paragraphs that can explain it far better than I am able.
"Behçet's disease is an autoimmune disease that results from damage to blood vessels throughout the body, particularly veins. In an autoimmune disease, the immune system attacks and harms the bodies' own tissues. The exact cause of Behçet's disease is unknown. Most symptoms of the disease are caused by vasculitis (an inflammation of the blood vessels). Inflammation is a characteristic reaction of the body to injury or disease and is marked by four signs: swelling, redness, heat, and pain. Doctors think that an autoimmune reaction may cause the blood vessels to become inflamed, but they do not know what triggers this reaction. Under normal conditions, the immune system protects the body from diseases and infections by killing harmful "foreign" substances, such as germs, that enter the body. In an autoimmune reaction, the immune system mistakenly attacks and harms the body's own tissues. Behçet's disease is not contagious; it is not spread from one person to another. Behçet's disease affects each person differently. The four most common symptoms (as listed) are mouth" sores, genital sores, inflammation inside of the eye, and skin problems. Inflammation inside of the eye (uveitis, retinitis, and iritis) occurs in more that half of those with Behçet's disease and can cause blurred vision, pain, and redness. Other symptoms may include arthritis, blood clots, and inflammation in the central nervous system and digestive organs." - Taken from the American Bechets Disease Association website.

In this entry, I will only go into one of the symptoms. I will address other symptoms in another entry at another time.

The main reason I don't talk about having Bechets Disease, is, quiet frankly because of where in my body it effects.
While I class myself as an open minded, speak openly, I-am-lady-hear-me-roar type of person, talking about 'genital sores and ulcers' makes me want to curl up into an invisible ball.
Its a "world swallow me whole, they will think I'm disgusting if I explain" feeling.
But, yes, there we go, it happens, it is part of who I am, and no, it is not Herpes. That is a different disease. I have something else.
But essentially, that is one reason for me not to talk about it. I don't want people to think that the Ulcers I have are a STI. Besides I don't want to wig out friends my talking about my now mutilated and scarred 'lady-bits', that's just un-couth.
But hey, this is my blog so I can write about what ever I like I guess.

sometimes in between flare ups, its magic. I forget that my body is broken and hurts me and makes me cry and break down as I remember there is nothing I can do except wait for it to pass.

At present I am in the midst of a painful 2-3 week long flare up of mouth and genital ulcers.
I hate the mouth ulcer flare ups because they appear in crops of up to ten at a time. I begin to talk with a lisp or slur as I try and push my tongue and words around them, but a lot of the time it is easier not to talk, so I just stay silent.
It hurts to eat and even drink and mostly, I can't kiss Marc.
Thankful this flare up has only seen a few mouth ulcers (finger nail size) and 1 genital ulcer 20c / 10 p piece size).
Last week, after about 9 days of trying to push the pain to the back of my mind with a 'if I pretend its not happening it will go away' mentality, I visited the GP. As with most Doctors my explaining I have Bechets was received with a "yeessss, I know a little bit about it, but not really".
Which is fine, I am not bad mouthing the Doctor I saw because anybody with Bechets will probably be nodding in agreement thinking "haha, yes! thats so true", its just one of those things about having a 'rare' disease, it is what it is, rare.
Unfortunately, the ointments I was prescribed made the situation worse, my genital sores bigger and infected. Gross I know, but like I said this is my blog and I'm trying to be honest.
I am now taking antibiotics for that.
I also take a vitamin B tablet to try and keep the ulcers at bay;
I have to take regular pain kills, so 2 tablets, 3 times a day;
and 1 diclofenac tablet, 3 times a day.

Morning tablets. My first set of the day.

Yesterday was Australia day and a friend came over with her son. When everybody went for a swim I had to sit on the side lines. I didn't want to explain.

Amoxicillin has always made me feel nauseous whenever I have taken them and make me feel more disgusting than my body already is.
After our friends left I just wanted to bath, clean my horrible self poisoning body and just cleanse all the evils away.
I normally take salt baths but yesterday I used Lemon Grass and Tea Tree oil.
I just wanted it all to go away and all I could think about was having a normal body.
As soon as I stepped into the bath I knew something was wrong. I could feel the water burning my body but I just wanted to get rid of it all so I sat in the water with a burning sensation all over my body.
I sat there for ten minutes.
As I got out of the water I could see where the oil had reacted with my skin. Red patches had appeared all over my body and the burning sensation continued over my body.
I had to take cold showers in between ice packs over my back and legs.
I only thing I could do was just lay there crying in pain.
I just wanted to be normal, to not walk with a limp, I just want to be able to do things like a regular person and not have to think about those things we take for granted because I can't do them without hurting.
Is it too much to ask to want to be able to eat and chew my food, drink from a glass, play with my daughter, go for a swim, ride my bike, pee without winching or welling up... apparently so, so I should just deal with it.
And even if I could 'just deal with it' I know I would still feel the same as I do everytime I have a flare up or have to talk about it. I feel like dirty, unclean, grotesque mound of mutilated scars and infection because that is what I see in the mirror.

The first time I had a "non mouth ulcer" it was as big as a 50pence piece, lasted for weeks and I had to walk with a cane to take the pressure of pain due to the size that had made me unable to walk. It ate through my skin and left scarring around a now void where my skin used to be. Every time they appear they leave a scar behind.

This morning, I woke up sore and uncomfortable, ate a slice of toast and took my tablets with a glass of water. I feel sick.
I put off having to go to the toilet because I know it will hurt, but I can't hold it any longer and it hurts. I use a blow-dyer to dry everything off and keep the area clean. I can't use toilet tissue.
Tilly is in a playful mood but I stay sat in one position on the edge of the sofa and try to play with her. It doesn't work, so I bend as much as I can, and put all my weight onto my elbow as I move to the floor in a diagnoal-side on-push-up style maneuver to ease any discomfort and get nearer to her.
My dad calls on Skype and I try to give him an update without going into it too much. I don't know how much he knows about it, we don't really talk about it. I try to explain there is no tablet I can take to make it go away, especially the "non-mouth ulcers" there isn't a tablet I can take for that. I explain about the blood tests I had on Wednesday and the subject is changed. I hate talking about it.
Tilly has gone down for a nap and I have about an hour to rest and change my underwear to make sure I as clean as I can be. It is 10.10am.
I think I change my underwear about 3-4 times a day. Take 2 showers and maybe a bath with no soaps or bath products.
I just want to be clean so it will all heal and go away, but it doesn't.

Heartache

2011-11-22T01:55:00.000-08:00

I've been a witness to heartache
I swear I felt her heart break
been crying threw the bedroom walls for days
I told her time is a healer
but even I don't believe that
because it has been nine years now
and there is still that look on her face
as she cries "no, its not that I won't let you go,
but don't leave me too, you know he walked out that door.
And you carry half of his heart
between those bars
and if you give yours away, well, I'm left with fuck all.
Do you know, I still iron his shirts in case he returns
and that half of your heart makes mine beat in return
so please stay with me child, just for a while, i feel so old.
He said the family home I can't enter
said it fills him like an old love letter
with dreaded knots he cannot untie
with all the whisky in the world
he said "darling she was a beautiful girl,
but sometimes there is just nothing left to say,
but oh, what is a heart but a tool
that keeps me alive to sit on this old bar stool
to drink away the hours of the day
sat like a widow at a lovers grave
we were the most beautiful wedding ring set with blood diamonds
she said my heart had poison in
so just leave me child, just go"

Bright Eyes Setlist. The Hifi, Brisbane 17.11.11

2011-11-17T14:11:00.000-08:00

Last night Bright Eyes was epic. I think it was the greatest Bright Eyes show I've been to.
The Hi-Fi, 17th November 2011, Brisbane
SET LIST:
Four Winds
The Tree's Get Wheeled Away
Something Vague
Another Travellin' Song
Take It Easy (Love Nothing)
Jejune Stars
Landlock Blues
Lover I Don't Have To Love
Shell Games
Arc Of Time
Triple Spiral
Spring Cleaning
Cartoon Blues
Posion Oak
Falling Out Of Love At This Volume
I Believe In Symmetry
The Calendar Hung Itself
Ladder Song
-----------
ENCORE
-----------
Let's Not Shit Ourselves (To Love And To Be Loved)
Road To Joy
*Jazz funk band introductions*
One For You, One For Me
The Peoples Key intro
-----------

Yesterday I found out the price of freedom -

2011-07-29T01:48:00.001-07:00

- but thats another story.

Last weekend I took part in a 5k around Finsbury Park to raise money for Cancer Research UK.
It turned out to be a lovely day weather wise, so thank you British summer time.

Finsbury Park has far more slopes, hills and bumps that I remember, but then again I wasn't pushing a pram around trying to get around a 5k circuit in less than 50 minutes. Every time I thought "blooming hell, this pram is a right 'mare to push"I looked around and saw a woman pushing another woman in a wheelchair and and another woman completing the course on crutches, all of a sudden the pram didn't seem to heavy.
Thank you everybody who sponsored anybody taking part, and special thanks to everybody who sponsored me.

Myself, I find truth - NEW DRAWING

2011-07-27T11:15:00.000-07:00

Again, I haven't posted anything on here for ages. It also felt like I hadn't drawn anything for ages.

Today is Sunday

2011-07-03T10:40:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was Saturday and prior to that, Friday. There have been many days between my last post and this one but without trying too make too many excuses, I had a baby and she loves to play and I prefer to play with T than sit behind a laptop screen.

Recently I played a show in Dorking with We Grow Beards, Great Cynics, Oliver John Ward and so many other amazing bands it was awesome, I had a blast and it was cool to introduce M to the DTP crew, as I think they are all awesome.

Oliver John Ward in Dorking.
Check out Olly's music, its really good. good honest gruff vocals over (originally) an acoustic guitar, but in Dorking he played with a full band, damn it was tight and mind blowingly good. seriously, go listen. http://www.oliverjohnward.co.uk

Im pretty sure somewhere along the line I've mentioned how awesome Great Cynics and WGB's are but check them out too.

Friday 1st July however Justin gave me to tickets to The Flaming Lips (playing Soft Bulletin) and Dinosaur Jr. (playing Bug) and Deerhoof (playing Milkman) We missed Deerhoof but Im not the biggest fan so I wasn't too upset, besides it was such a lovely day, the sun was out, we were stood on top of a big hill looking down on London, it was nice to be outside a bit longer.
Dinosaur Jr were cool, just as you expect, fuzzy, loud and good as. I didn't really get any photos of them but I didn't mind too much because we wondered around and people were dressed up as animals and superheroes so it was good to take it all in.

The Flaming Lips were great, Soft Bulletin is a really good album, especially live, we loved it. There was a lot of 'positive mental attitude' and a shit load of confetti. highlights included Waitin' For Superman, the massive confetti gun and the end and Slow motion, definetly Slow Motion, it just sounded lush.

Today we hung out with PJ & Gaby at Cally Festival, they are just too cool for school and super lovely as well. I hope everyone has friends like them because then everyone would just have an awesome time.

Boundaries & Consequence CD

2011-06-02T00:50:00.001-07:00

4 track EP. £2. Handmade CD sleeve with lyric sheet.

1. I'll Be Okay
2. What Posters Did You Have?
3. 32 Boroughs
4. Page Torn Out

You can download this EP for free at www.lauramardon.bandcamp.com

Throwing Up In Comic Sans rehashed for 2011

2011-03-13T03:44:00.000-07:00

So I'm trying to revive my dying Flickr group for Throwing Up In Comic Sans. I figure I spend so much time exploring other groups on Flickr and looking at lovely photography that I shouldn't be so lazy and actual get a bit more involved in what I am currently enjoying; photography.

I have created a Tumblr site to showcase some of the photos coming through the TUICS flickr group that I'm really enjoying.

THROWING UP IN COMIC SANS TUMBLR

40weeks +1 day

2011-03-10T07:56:00.000-08:00

So Baby is 1 day over due now, it feels more like she is 3 weeks overdue. Since the wedding we have done so much but the days have seemed to slow down, its a peculiar feeling, especially for two people who like to keep busy.

I found a cool little camera shop in Chingford Mount called County Cameras. I went in to get some film developed and came out with an Olympus Trip 35. Its an amazing shop, especially if you like all things 35mm.

I finished up some more film recently and had it processed. After a failed attempt at getting film developed at Jessops in Ilford - they don't process or develop film, obviously, being a camera store that makes sense (?!) The staff in there recommended going to Jessops in Romford. If anyone can find the Jessops in Romford please show me where it is because we couldn't find it. I did however find a Boots with a photo centre in it, but they didn't have any staff who knew how to use the equipment. I kid you not, it was a special day out. A tip for anyone, anywhere, don't ever go to Ilford - its a rank little town.

One set is from a Halina Panorama-F camera. Its a cheap looking plastic camera that my nan won at Bingo a while ago. I wasn't expecting anything from this camera and last Autumn I took it along to Essex with me for the weekend. It turns out its a pretty neat little 'toy' camera.

The other set I got back was from my Praktica SLR, they were hit and miss but the later pictures from this week came out okay. They are from the first warm day of the year. We went for a walk around the lake to encourage the baby, without success,
obviously.

We have a midwife appointment tomorrow, lets see how we go.

Dog verses Swan

2011-03-08T01:03:00.000-08:00

Race for Life

2011-03-06T10:18:00.001-08:00

This summer I am taking part in Cancer Research UK's Race for Life - you can sponsor me if you like.

I am taking part in a 5k walk in Finsbury Park this summer. I think it will give me something to aim for after birth, I know I'll only be walking but its already got me excited about getting out as much as possible.
Its also been hard to remember what summer is really like. I mean, winter has felt like its lasted for ages, but with this I can picture it.

http://www.raceforlifesponsorme.org/lauraroseobrien

Birmingham City just beat Arsenal.

2011-02-27T09:54:00.000-08:00

I really miss laying on my front, I didn't think it was such a big thing, but turns out it is. I miss it.

I haven't drawn anything in a very long time. I miss it. I keep meaning to get my paints and sketchbooks from the loft, I should really. Maybe tomorrow.

I feel so big and heavy, hurry up baby - we would like to meet you know.

This is one of the first pictures I took with my Yashica Electro 35. Its a beautiful camera.

flickr updates

2011-02-21T17:59:00.000-08:00

Flickr updates

Its been a while.

2011-02-16T12:16:00.000-08:00

Its been over two months since I last updated this, slack maybe, but then again, I don't know if anybody actually reads this so I never know if I need to update it.

A lot has happened since I last posted on here. Marc got his fiancee visa and arrived in the UK on 30th December. We welcomed in the new year together, just like we wanted to.
I'm also a lot bigger with only 3 weeks left until my due date, full term.
Everybody said "you'll get to 8 weeks to go and everything will slow down and it will seem like the longest wait until you meet your baby." I didn't believe them but it rings so true. I can't wait. I never thought I could be so excited about anything, but I am. Its great.
I am now a Mrs. Mrs Marc O'Brien. My mother made my dress, my Bolero, my hat and I entered the town hall overwhelmed by how beautiful my now husband and all our friends and family looked as they waited on my arrival.
When the ceremony began, I found it hard to hold back my tears. I reflected on all those hard moments and choices we've had to make and how strong we were and are - those next twenty minutes of my life, reciting words of love and friendship, sickness, health and strength in each other made so much sense. I didn't think I would be so emotional on my wedding day, but then I never thought I could be loved like this.
We laughed, we cried, we celebrated. We are happy. Very happy.

We went to Bath for our honeymoon. We spoiled ourselves in the spa and relaxed taking in the beautiful sights of the city. I'm learning to swim. Marc is a water baby and I want our bubs to be comfortable in the water, not like myself who panics when the water hits my eyes or mouth. With the help of a float I managed 10 lengths of the pool, of that I am proud and unashamed to say that I need a child's kick board to help me get there.
The winter has seemed to last forever. I forget how the sun came change this island of ours. Bath is a beautiful city.

FLICKR

Hello, my name is Laura O'Brien. Nice to meet you.

Hospital

2010-12-10T11:12:00.000-08:00

Last week I was in Hospital. It was horrible.

I should draw something soon

2010-11-16T05:00:00.000-08:00

NEW EP DOWNLOAD!

2010-11-12T16:28:00.000-08:00

click this link to download my new EP: http://lauramardon.bandcamp.com/

Reasons to donate:

If you have read any of the past few months of this blog you will know how much of a rollercoaster ride M and I have been on in regards to our awesome pregnancy adventure and our utter visa nightmare.

To update you lovely folk:
After having our Partner Visa rejected by the Australian High Commission (see previous entries) we were then informed by our case worker that we were able to apply for a Working holiday Visa so I could be with M as his visa for the UK expired.

With the Partner Visa being pregnant does not count as extenuating circumstances nor does it count as myself having a 'Dependent'
With the working Holiday Visa however I was also turned down, but this time because I have a 'Dependent' which is not allowed on the Working Holiday Visa.

M had to return to Australia without me. As you can imagine this is an extremely hard time for us. This is our first pregnancy and we wanted to experience every moment of it together, but we are not able to.

The UK and Australia are far from close to each other and it is so hard to be so far apart, especially if heavens forbid something should happen to one of us. We just dont have the money to fly back and forth.
Also I can only fly until December as I will enter my 3rd trimester. 20+ hour flights are hard going on the body, especially a pregnant one.

We have applied for a fiance Visa for M to come back to the UK, fingers crossed this will be excepted. All I want to do is spend the rest of my life with this wonderful man, and it is becoming a hard task due to bureaucracy and the amount of money it is costing us.

A question a lot of people ask is "Why didn't you just apply to get married in the first place?"
It was always our intention to get married, we both love each other dearly and it is something we both saw for us as a couple. The reason we didn't apply for a 'prospective partner visa' straight away is because we would have to get married in the first 6-9months of arriving in Australia.
Moving to a new country on the other side of the world, having a baby, trying to buy/rent a house suitable for us as a family and getting married all within the first few months of being in Australia just seemed a little too much for us to be able to do. This is why we made the decision we did.

At the minute I am sat in our flat having just spoken to M on Skype.
We aren't too sure when we will get an answer on M's Fiance Visa. Hopefully it will be before the Home Office closes for Christmas in mid-December. Fingers Crossed.

This whole process is draining on the wallet to say the least and it doesn't finish once we hear back from this visa application, we still have more flights and more visas to apply for plus (fingers crossed) wedding costs. I'm not even taking into account everything for the Baby.
The baby will always have everything she needs, she is our whole world already.

anyway, I hope you enjoy the 4 new tracks I recorded today. Its nothing fancy, just 4 songs I've written and recorded on garageband today.

thanks.

Laura.

Gad Zooks!

2010-11-06T01:07:00.000-07:00

For a couple doubted by the high Commission we sure cried a hell of a lot when M left this morning.
It wasn't so much saying goodbye as cutting off my right arm. When M had to leave this time last year, I felt lost because we didn't so much have a plan as we do now.
Maybe its been the constant knock backs we've been handed recently, maybe its the extremely simple fact that I love him so much, or feeling our baby kick and turn inside me but I've never felt so determined to be positive in all my life.

Its going to be very strange to be apart.
M and I wake up together. We have breakfast and jump in the shower. We leave the house together to go to work, get the same bus and get off at the same bus stop. We email each other throughout the morning and then we have lunch together. We count down the hours and send each other silly texts until he meets me after work and we go home together and spend the evening hang out with each other until we fall asleep next to each other and the alarm clock goes off and it all starts again.

If you've never used it before, Face Peel is amazing. Face Masks are okay, but not nearly as fun. A satisfying feeling - Peeling the mask from your face like PVA glue from your fingers in Primary School.

Good News? I don't know what that is anymore...

2010-10-27T09:25:00.000-07:00

So the Australian doesnt believe Im in a commited relationship with an Australian citizen so they wont grant me a visa.
On one rejection letter we have no dependants - four weeks later on another rejection letter we have a dependant.
The Australian High commission don't believe I'm a 'genuine visitor' either.
I don't know what I am meant to be.

One day they might meet me and see I'm just a human being wanting the best for my family.

All I know is that in March 2011 Marc O'Brien and I will have a child to take care of.

DEPARTMENT OF IMMIGRATION AND CITIZENSHIP
Dear Ms Laura Rose MARDON,
This email is in relation to your electronic Working Holiday (subclass417) visa application lodged via the Department of Immigration and Citizenship website. A Working Holiday visa allows the holder to enter Australia with theprincipal purpose of visiting Australia for a holiday. It also allowsvisa holders to supplement their holiday with short-term employment.However, the primary purpose of the visa is for the holder to have aholiday in Australia.
DEPENDENT CHILDREN You have declared to the London DIAC office that your intention is to beaccompanied by dependant/s during your period of stay in Australia.

This declaration is not consistent with the principal purpose of being a‘genuine visitor’ as interpreted in the Working Holiday Visa Regulations.Regulation 417.211 (4) (d) requires that applicants for a Working Holiday(subclass 417) visa will not be accompanied by dependent children duringtheir stay in Australia. Note: A dependent child is the natural or adopted child, or step-child,of yourself or your spouse or de facto partner who: - is not married or engaged to be married or in a de facto relationship- has not turned 18. As you intend to be accompanied by dependants during your stay inAustralia, you do not satisfy criterion 417.211 (4) (d) and cannot begranted a subclass 417 visa.

Actual good news.
My beautiful engagment ring -

Where will we be in 3 weeks

2010-10-21T03:18:00.000-07:00

We have still had no word back on the second visa I applied for 12 days ago. Hopefully we will get an answer soon. Marc's Visa D-Day is approaching and we still don't know what will happen to our family. Its scarey and the pressure is getting to us, but we are strong and care too much for each other and our baby.
We are a family, regardless of what the Australian High Commission deem us to be.
We are a family and god damn we are a loving, strong, committed family.

Punks jump up, hold each other, stick together and build. We will suceed.

Something I would love to happen this year is for Marc and I to be together for the holidays.
I am not a religius person, but I see the good the 'festive season' can bring out in people who wouldnt even think of helping others any other time of the year.
If a season can make a selfish person unselfish for even a day and make them turn around and look at the situation of others, its a season good enough for me.
Last year we were unable to be together over Christmas and the New Year due to Family commitments on both sides of the world. I could never have asked Marc to miss the birth of his Borthers first child.
I couldn't have asked him to do it then nor could I ask him now. It was a big moment in the O'Brien Family and I'm proud of him for making such a hard decision like he did.
I just hope whatever happens we can have these holidays together - our first and last Christmas Holiday together before our little one arrives.
I don't care where we are, as long as we are together.

Before I start writing each recent blog entry I always feel like I have a million one things to say, and typical, when it gets to it, I forget everything.

In non-visa news we have our 20 week scan tomorrow. I can honestly say I don't think either of us have been so excited. I never thought I would be so taken with the idea of motherhood, but its hit me bang straight in the face and I would never want this feelinging taken away.
Anyone who has known me will know how unlike me saying that would have been a few years ago, but wow, yeah, this is anamazing thing and for all the tears (serious weepies) and the MEGA morning sickness, the near perminant headaches and not being able to fit into ANY of my clothes, I wouldn't change it and Im very happy with Bubs progress and ability to now kick and punch me.
I just can't wait to see them. Wow, just wow. Thank you technology for letting us have these moments tomorrow. Praise Science.

Tonight however we are off to see Gaslight Anthem at Hammersmith Apollo. Im looking forward to this because it means I have to stay awake like a regular human being and not be in bed at 8:30pm. It also means interacting with people and attempting to wear something that isnt uber maternity that I dont really like as much as my 'regular' clothes.
These are all nice feelings that I enjoy and that I took for granted before I was pregnant and tired all the time.
Chuck Ragen is supporting, Im looking forward to this.

RIP Ari Up.

Pancakes, yum.

2010-10-11T13:06:00.000-07:00

We are going with the "one step at a time" mantra until we get a response on the 'other' visa we have applied for. Details to follow when we know whats happening.
In other Visa related news the Australian High Commission lost half of our application and evidence in the post(sent with only a 1st class stamp. Not recorded, no special delivery, nothing. They didn't even send us an email to say they had sent it. Needless to say it has been over 12 days since it was sent from Zone 1 Central London to Zone 2 North London, it is lost.) and have yet to get back to us with what they plan to do about this. This is obviously not useful when trying to apply for other visas because the Australian High Commission doubt our commitment to each other.

In other more exciting news. In fact lovely news, I am now Mrs. O'Brien to be.
M went to ran me a bubble bath and while I was on the phone he managed to sneak past me with all the candles in the house and light the bathroom up which looked amazing.
He got down on one knee and showed me a beautiful beautiful ring.
It made me cry.

Im getting pretty big around the middle now, but I am getting my energy back so I don't feel like a big fat slug all the time and because of this, we ate pancakes.

Neither of us had been to My Old Dutch in Holborn. I've walked past it so many times, and at the weekend we finally went in - it was so worth it.

Andrew Jackson Jihad at The Gaff was pretty good. I don't really know what I was expecting, but it wasn't quiet what I saw, not that that was a bad thing. I don't know, you hear the songs and then when you see them preform, its not what who I imagined. Plus, I dunno, its just my humble opinion, but I found them to be slightly Prima Donna at times towards the audience.

I'm hoping my new maternity swim wear is delivered this week so I can go an play in the wave machine at the Archway Leisure Centre this week.

I have also started putting a few items up for sale on eBay.
http://myworld.ebay.co.uk/marcandlaura10/

Visa application updates.

2010-09-28T03:39:00.000-07:00

I have no idea who reads this, if anyone. But, if you do happen to stumble across here and wanted to know more about our Australian High Commission Visa hell - here it is:

Method by which notification delivered: E-mail

28 September 2010

File Ref: 201007****

Dear Laura

I refer to your application for a subclass 309 (Provisional Partner) visa (Class UF - Partner (Provisional)).

As indicated in the attached decision record, at least one of the requirements for the grant of a subclass 309 visa was not satisfied.

Therefore, I regret to advise you that your Provisional Partner visa application has been refused.

Reviewable Decision

Your sponsor is entitled to apply for a review of this decision. If your sponsor decides to lodge an application for review, they must do so within 91 calendar days after the date of this letter.

Please note that this time-limited review period is prescribed in law and your sponsor's application for review cannot be accepted after that date.

Applications for review must be lodged with the Migration Review Tribunal (MRT). The enclosed leaflet provides information about the MRT’s review process and where applications for review by the MRT can be lodged. Further information about review is available from the MRT by contacting the addresses or telephone numbers in the leaflet.

I regret that I do not have better news for you.

Yours sincerely

Michelle Traynor
Position Number 600681
Migration Branch
Australian High Commission
Strand, London WC2B 4LA

Findings of fact and reasons

I am satisfied that Laura Rose MARDON does not meet the criterion prescribed in subclause 309.211 because the applicant cannot provide substantial evidence to prove they are in a de facto relationship with their sponsor for at least 12 months immediately prior to the date of application.

The applicant, Laura Mardon, and her sponsor, Marc O’Brien, met in June 2009 when Mr O’Brien moved in to the flatshare that Miss Mardon was already living in. The applicant and sponsor began dating during this initial period as housemates. The sponsor left the houseshare in August 2009 to undertake pre-arranged travel in Europe for a month. Upon the Mr O’Brien’s return the applicant and sponsor claim to have begun a de facto relationship with Mr O’Brien moving in to Miss Mardon’s room.

Typed rent receipts provided show the sponsor paying rent directly to the landlord until September 2009. Then the receipts are provided for the applicant’s rent with an attached note explaining that they split the rent for the one room.

The sponsor then left the United Kingdom in December 2009 to return to Australia. The applicant travelled to Australia on 05th March 2010 and left on the 30th May 2010 within the three month stay limit on her eVisitor visa. The applicant has provided statements from the sponsor’s family saying that the applicant and sponsor lived with them during her stay. They provided one energy bill and phone bill with a written note to advise that the applicant and sponsor contributed to the paying of the bills.

Both the applicant and sponsor returned to the UK in May/June 2010 as the sponsor still had a few months left on his working holidaymaker visa in the UK. Whereupon they have found out that Miss Mardon was expecting a child which is due in March 2011.

Based on the level of evidence provided by the applicant I cannot be satisfied that the applicant and sponsor are in a de facto level relationship in accordance with the criteria set out in 309.211. They cannot substantiate that they have resided as a de facto couple for at least 12 months immediately prior to the application being lodged.

The type of evidence provided is not very strong and does not provide concrete evidence of cohabitation for a full 12 months nor does it support the three month period of separation between December 2009 and March 2010.

Conclusion

Section 65 of the Act states that the Minister must refuse to grant a visa if the Minister is not satisfied that an applicant meets the criteria prescribed in the legislation.

In this case, as the Minister's delegate, I am not satisfied that the criterion prescribed at subclause 309.211 has been met for the reasons stated above.
Given that I have found that subclause 309.211 has not been satisfied, I have not assessed the application against the other criteria contained in subclass 309.

In accordance with the Act, as the applicant/s has not met the requirements for the subclass 309, I must refuse to grant a Partner (Provisional) (Class UF) visa to the applicant/s.

Name: Michelle Traynor
Position Number: 600681
Family Migration Section
Date: 27/09/2010

People you have never met

2010-09-27T08:27:00.001-07:00

Its strange that somebody I have never met has the ability to break my heart.
Somebody who has never met me, never looked at me before, somebody who couldn't pick me out of a line up three people has the power to break my heart and place their critical assesment on my relationship judging it as 'not satidfactory' based upon electricity bills and bank statements.

Thankfully at home I have this beautiful man who would give anything to try and make me smile even when I am as sad as this woman has made me, and he makes me stronger.

His visa runs out November 20. Our baby is due March 9.

I hope to a god I do not belive in that if the time comes where I am unable to wake up next to him I still have the strength to continue for the sake of our child.

Thank you to our case worker Mich***e Tra**or for having the faith in two honest people, their commitment to each other, and wanting the right start for their new family.
I also commend your ability to sum up the hardest three months I have dealt with in a very long time in such a simple paragraph.
I found words hard to come by to sum up the feeling of this time, but you yourself have the ability to create something similar to the love cliches of Shakespeare.

"The type of evidence provided is not very strong and does not provide concrete evidence of cohabitation for a full 12 months nor does it support the three month period of separation between December 2009 and March 2010."

Sleep well tonight, as I know I will not.

Laura Mardon.

Bibles and the dead hare of Essex

2010-09-26T13:57:00.000-07:00

This music is awesome

2010-09-22T08:49:00.000-07:00

I realise a lot of recent entries probably sound like me complaining and having an awful time but do you know what - we know how to make the best out of a stressful situation and by gawd we can have some fun. At this very minute fun is listening to Above Them - Blueprint For A Better Time and just loving it. I can't believe I got to be on the same bill as them in Dorking. That was an awesome show, although I was very drunk.
I think the same about Crazy Arm. Their album Born To Ruin is so rad and I, me, little old me got to share a stage with them and they are so rad.
Its albums like these that make me want to plug in my electric, turn up the gain and jump around in a rehearsal room. Being in a shitty studio and creating something that makes a whole band go "YES!" is awesome.
I look forward to hopefully be able to do that again in Australia.

I really should be working, so I dont have enough time to continue ranting about the joys of live music, but here are some bands that you should take the time to listen to.
Maybe go to their gigs, buy their EPs and feel jolly good when you listen to them like I do.

We Grow Beards
Crazy Arm
Above Them
Cynics
Porches
Bangers
Attack! Vipers!
Apologies, I Have None
Ok Pilot
Mega Games
The Arteries
Don't Let Paris Fool You
Break The Habit

a sickly child am I / Visa stressfest.

2010-09-21T05:05:00.000-07:00

At the moment we both need a break. Things with the Australian High Commission haven't gone how we thought. But while I say that, that aren't they aren't terrible terrible, just stressful because it means so much to us that this goes well and all correct.
Too add to this we have bth been ill with colds, sore throats and M seems to be dealing with some horrid jaw infection which isn't nice to watch him go through.
But, one day at a time we are getting better and paper work is being signed and verified and soon enough can be sent off for an answer we would like hopefully.

Its hard to think somebody is in an office, and while trying to be as helpful as they are being, which is quiet a lot, still doesnt know us and who we are, the people we make each other and why we are doing this and why we chose this application path.
We didn't want to rush moving to another country, having a baby and getting married all in the first 6 months of being there, because thats what would have had to have happend if we had applied for a marriage visa straight away.
We love our friends and family, we want as many of them to come to our Wedding as possible and if that means waiting we figure so be it.
The romantics in us see our own little flower girl or Paige Boy toddling down the aisel behind us - not a shot gun wedding without my parents with me.
Oh well, we have made our beds I guess and hopefully we have supplied the High Commision with enough information this time to prove what we are about.

I think what it comes down to for us is how stressful it seems to be when simple honest truth doesn't enough right now.

So, if there is anyone out there reading this, keep your fingers, toes, legs, eyes and hearts crossed for us because I don't know what else we can give them to prove what we are doing and what we want is the real deal.

There is a man I sleep next to every night and every night I don't think I can love him anymore incase my heart explodes but then I wake up in the morning and he smiles and theres this feeling like my heart just grew a bit more. I can't imagine being me without him.

Visa application

2010-09-13T06:52:00.000-07:00

We sent of my visa application last week - I am so nervous, I'm just not too sure what to expect next. More questions to answer? An interview? A medical assesment? Are we in are we out and how long will it all take, there are just so many questions we just wont have the answers too until we are called upon by the powers that be. These specifc powers that be being the Australian High Commision.
It is a really strange feeling having not only my life but my new little familys life in the hands of someone we have never met. I wonder what they look like. Would it be an admin clerk, someone like me sifting through aplication upon application with a 'yes/no tick sheet' you're in you're out.

If everything goes to plan I will be leaving November 20. Marc has to leave on that date so hopefully fingers crossed and in a praying position like I've never wanted or needed anything in my life so much I will be leaving with him.
God knows what I’d do if they said no – I think I’d just break down, I wouldn’t be able to handle the thought of not being with him, especially in these up coming months.
He and our bubs is the best thing ever in my entire life, they cant be that mean surely? I hope not. Fingers crossed.

It would be amazing if they could just sit with us and observe us. Come over for dinner and talk to us.
Mr High Commision if you are reading this, please feel free to come over, you have our address. It would be great. Marc makes a very nice sheppards pie and my maccaroni and cheese isn't too bad. If you're vegan, no worries home made pesto and pasta with salad it is.
You could join us in Laughing at Eastenders together or play cludeo with us, or guess Who - we don't mind, or look at all the nice places we could riase our family together or sing along to Gaslight Anthem with us and dance around the living room, I will doing that.

Recently to take my mind off the visa application I like making up songs to sing to my tummy like "Vitimin D for Baby, Vitiamin D for me, because when the sunshines, Bubs will be smilin' and that makes me happy"

I have base cloth in my hands, I need to get it sent of to Romania.
Please excuse me.

Cameras

2010-09-01T12:24:00.000-07:00

I brought 2 cameras (5$ for the pair) at the local car-boot sale (Holloway Road) this bank holiday weekend. One is just a no-frills 35mm panoramic camera because we're off to the seaside the weekend coming and I thought it would be something nice to use. Especially for Marc who must just see me messing around with a multitude of over sized chunky 35mm cameras shoved in my bag when we leave the house, so it would be nice for him to be able to play around and have fun with cameras like I do.

The second camera I brought was a Kodak 155x 'Instamatic' Camera. It takes 126 cassettes as a pose to 120 or 35 film. Fortunetly the camera came with a cassette in the camera so I could use this helpful video I found online. Oh wait I can't find it now, when I do I'll edit this post so the link is in here. It was very helpful except the one thing it didn't really explain was the best bag or cover to pull out the film. I used a thick bin liner in a completely dark room.
It was fun to try and work out if everything I was doing was right as I had to do it from memory because I could have the computer screen on obviously.
I've started just taking some pictures to try and use up the film because I'm so excited about what will happen.
I will scan in the photos when i get them developed.

Okay, I'm going to rest, being pregnant takes it out of you - especially after having blood tests today.

Baby

2010-08-28T04:11:00.000-07:00

gigs

2010-08-18T02:37:00.000-07:00

I haven't been to a gig in ages. Or at least it feels like ages. Next Week is Alkaline Trio at Relentless Garage, London followed by my gig the next day.
Im playing a free show in Finsbury Park at the Worlds End. I'm first on.

In my purse I also hold tickets to Comeback Kid/Parkway Drive at Forum, London, but thats not until November - but I will contain my excitment until October. Which reminds me, I must pick up tickets for Paint It Black next month.

I've started writing a new zine, but I can't tell you what it is about until next week. I'm only a page in and already I'm finding it a challenging task. Its an informatino zine, no art zine, no comic zine, no rant zine - its just information in which other people similar to me will hopefully find usful and cheaper to access than what is out there at the minute. More to follow.
I just brought new ribbon for my typewriter so be prepared.

Fingers crossed Im off to Brighton this weekend, infact I am off to Brighton this weekend and I can't wait, i miss Brighton and Im craving Pompoko. M has never been before so this has double my excitment for the British seaside - theres so much to show him, but where do I start? The Pier? The Lanes? Probably the Prince Albert...

TOMORROW

2010-08-06T08:15:00.000-07:00

myspace.com/transfereproject

2010-07-28T08:39:00.000-07:00

think back to where it all began
clutching those broken chords in teenage bedrooms
well what posters did you have?
were your walls dressed in all your favorite bands?
mother says its a phase and a fad
that will just rip the paint from the walls
when you've had enough.
mine where covered in lyrics that made me not want to live
and my joy division poster
well i wanted to fit in
Im sorry if you've ever felt the way I did.

But maybe we could write a song and share it with the world.
We could tell them not to worry,
you can cry like a little girl
if the need or the mood, or sadness will take you
because it wil be the most beautiful of words
that will flow from your viens when you do.

Now I share a room and its filled with love and flowers
and I swoon over our Strike Anywhere poster
it reminds me how much I Love You
and on the back you wrote
"You're never too punk to kiss"
and that Joy Division poster - well I don't care where it is
There are just some things in life
I can't afford to miss

So what posters did you have?
well, I mean what songs do you sing
when you're feeling sad
I'm glad you write that song and shared it with the world
you told me not to worry

wow.

2010-07-28T08:38:00.001-07:00

life.changing.

awesome.

evergreen terrace

2010-07-02T10:25:00.000-07:00

Tonight we are off to see evergreen terrace except this time it will be in London at the camden underworld.

Its odd being back in London.on one hand its like I never missed the hussle and bussle and I'm back at that nasty pace that seems to be the only one London works at,then on the other hand this massive hive can feed me near everything I desire.London is gluttony.

Walthamstow is a strange place.no one ever looks happy there,no one looks refreshed or like they have chosen to be there,they are just there for one reason or another except the choice and want to live in the area and that's it.blackhorse road seems to be just a road,some houses-no community no homey homes, it feels sad.

We are moving tomorrow to our own flat I can wait.

Friday 11th June

2010-06-11T00:20:00.000-07:00

We never did get to see flatliners but that's ok,sat on the floor next to the sofa where he slept just watching him was better than any gig could ever be.
Evergreen terrace at underworld 2 July;see you there.

back in the UK.

2010-06-06T05:51:00.000-07:00

I have been back in the UK for just under a week.I don't know how I feel about it yet.at the moment I am just waiting for M.time has travelled so slow since I left him on the other side of the world,its painful and aches like dragging a finger nail across a chalk board.I'm looking forward to moving somewhere and earning money.
I look forward to everything.

I saw Against Me! At the garage in London on Tuesday. I have a few photos up on flickr.com/photos/powpapowpow along with a few more pictures of austrslia. While against me played a lot of songs from their latest album White Crosses and I haven't been able to obsessively memorise all the lyrics yet,it seemed many had and it was one of the best fist punching air chorus shouting I'd been part of in a long time.

I missed suport act Canterbury but have seen them a handful of times before.I can never seem to fully enjoy them because of how young they look.their mailing list boasts new songs so fingers crossed for more anthemic indie rock. Kudos for nice shirt design too.
Cover girl and Peepshow (the band not the London art collective or channel 4 show) at the Boston arms was pretty cool on Friday night-queer noise dance Punk perhaps is the best way to describe it, you may know a better term.picked up some interesting zines.
Flatliners are playing the night M arrives so that is probably going to be missed as all I will want to do is look at him and play with his beautiful hair.
In the car on the way to gatwick to drop mumsy off with Chan on my last day of unemployment for a while.I'll be working in Islington if you ever fancy lunch on upper St.
Until next time.
Laura.

Tomorrow is Friday

2010-05-27T01:26:00.000-07:00

I can't believe it is Friday tomorrow already. I leave Australia for the first time on Sunday. Time is a strange thing. I figure time is simply way to pin point various moments and to ease the way we can catalogue events, and I have many to recall over pints and they will be welcomed by the British Summertime I am sure.
I look forward to our both our North and South returns and arrivals as much as I look forward to reminisce fond memories that have been created by every beautiful thing and person I have met these passing months. Thank you.

I have gained a lot from where I am and hopefully, even with my limited vocabulary and shy tongue I have been able to give just as much back.

We went to the Brisbane HiFi to see Casey Jones and Evergreen Terrace. Firstly, I have to share with you how blown away I was with the support act from Newcastle (New South Wales) - Dropsaw they were awesome. Check them out if you're interested in Hardcore and Metalcore it will be worth your time. It was rad to see a good support act from Oz so I can let the good folk in London in on whats happening in NSW.
I also picked up some HxC SxE zines at Rocking Horse record shop in Brisbane which have been good reads and good presents to take back for people.

Okay, expect more soon but until then stay free.

Before I forget

2010-05-24T16:05:00.000-07:00

Paul Gray

Today is my last Tuesday in Australia for a while. I would like to say I don't knnow where the time has gone, but I know exactly where it went. Three months seems to have melted away into ether or the past or where ever it went so fast and at the same time I feel I have lived a life time here and as I have said previously, London, England, just seems a life time a way. We have managed to do so much, I have learnt a lot and grown a hieght I thought impossible.

More to follow.

Year of wonders

2010-05-10T16:19:00.000-07:00

I love to read. I enjoy fiction and non fiction in equal measures. While I have trouble with reading and writing, I have no shame in hiding it; it is part of me, as is the enjoyment in the ability to finish a book regardless of how long it takes me to read.
I have just finished reading a novel by Geraldine Brookes called Year of Wonders.
While K and I were in the car general chit chatting as we do on the way to the beach, the shops, the park or where ever we go, I mentioned I needed a book to read while M was at work. K said she had recently read a book which she wouldn't typically be drawn to but it was recommended to her. She really enjoyed it but couldn't remeber the title.
I was wondering around the local new & used book shop. It is wonderful. Tiny and filled to the brim with books. Mainly crime and sci-fi reads along the three cramped aisels while the back of the shop is stacked with more Danielle Steel and copies of Her Sisters Keeper than I could ever imagine. While at the front there are 4 shelves of new and near new realeses which is generally where you will find me.
Hidden inbetween a few books that took my fancy; Year of Wonders. The book K had been talking about. I brought it, it took me over a month of continious reading but I finished it.

I have just realised I am far to hungry to go on with this entry, but I think this book is worth reading. Here is a little bit about the plot.

I have just started reading The White Tiger. It seems to be going down a treat.

Tattooed Floor // Great Ocean Road.

2010-05-09T21:56:00.000-07:00

Wade out in white; just walk out where the white wash will grip
Your body a sinking ship, just fade out, fade out
Fall to bed, tattooed floor pierced with movement, the lines you have drawn
bursts into language once more, spelt out, ride it out or write it out now
Across scars cut to the sky Carbon dipped gold made to points
To catch the eye of an audience of everyone, everything, play on
A Ghost of a sailor will Bare witness to ghost of his lover dancing with apostles, twelve angry men each will scorn and graze her skin
eroded with the timings of when the tankards sink in
He says take me home dear southern cross, Anchors adorn my heart - weight it with loss so cast me into jaws of shark and rock batter my lungs until the sound escapes to a sigh, because those sirens cries will never match mine.

Australia photos updated.

2010-05-01T03:07:00.000-07:00

Australia road trip photos updated

We are alive. I feel very much alive, alove, and much more. Tonight the titans win, I will drink wine and the motel internet is fast. What can go wrong.

ranting, more ranting.

2010-04-08T01:34:00.000-07:00

Last night, as he fell asleep, I just wanted to tell him I love him. Sappy I know right. The thing is, its not just the exciting, explosive moments - its the folding the laundry together, knowing I am going to wake up next to him and after work food shopping. Life just feels better.

I have always had trouble in the past with talking and letting people in. Im there for having fun and exciting moments, but thats all it would ever really be - it just felt so hard to talk in the past.

I wrote a song and recorded it on the laptop today. Its hissy, and you can hear the birds and train in the background, but its there - draft recorded.
Waking up and wanting to talk to you

So let’s be clear I’ve not opened this mouth in years,
Stitched these lips tight with thread
Thought it was better to bleed it out
Instead of causing offence
I’d never want to make a scene of it
And I’m nervous to be writing this
in case you’ve worked it out or had a lucky guess
Ten thousand miles I’ve come
to push foreign sounds past my tongue
And now they have appeared – I hope they’re native to your ears
So after this if we could just kiss I realise it will contradict
Maybe we could have a secret code like
“how about those Titans”
Something no one else would know.
And you can tell me this is going to be hard
And to expect the worse in this
I’d take it like a hit for you right across the chin
If you’d let me between the bars,
The ribs that hold in your precious heart
I would hold it in my hands
And mine it would kick start
Like the jets of a plane
Which mean we are always just a single day away
Like the crest of a wave
On which you surf to the shore
Crying, crashing as it roared
because the sand just let it slip away

stand and deliever and dance

2010-04-06T22:59:00.001-07:00

New cover version of Adam and the Ants - Stand and Deliever.

STAND AND DELIVER AND DANCE - JETSON SYNDROME

good morning.

2010-03-28T16:56:00.000-07:00

Folding his work shirts in the evening I get this feeling in my stomach
and I kiss his collar just incase he lets me dream through the morning.

At home on the Gold Coast.

2010-03-23T22:58:00.000-07:00

Australia is still amazing. I've nearly been here for a month, it's gone so fast it hardly feels a fortnight, yet at the same time leaving London seems a long time ago.

On Sunday I went to the Beergarden to watch No Fun At All. Flatliners where amazing and while I have a soft spot for most Fat Wreck Chords bands, they caught my eye enough to buy their CD (The Great Awake), which we have been listening to quiet a bit in the car.

Going to that show was the first time I felt homesick. It felt strange going to a show and not seeing a familiar face in the crowd or on stage for that matter. Everytime I turned around I was half expecting Jazz, the Apologies boys, PJ and Gaby, the Dorktown crew, even the Brighton chaps to be there, but they weren't, and while it was amazing to be there with awesome people, it was the first time my heart really sunk a little and made me realise how far I am from the people I know. I just wanted to share it with them and laugh about Bladers Vs. Skaters, acoustic guitars and Hi-Fives.

I love being around the dinner table and talking, its a great thing. I love sharing memories and the days events. And while I feel completely welcomed and wanted, its hard to share my memories when there is no frame of reference for those I share them with. Again, London is far away. I just worry I'm becoming to clingy for only really knowing one person here. I hope Im not. I think I just have too much time to over think when I should be relaxing and planning our road trip.

I love New South Wales, or at least what I have seen of it so far. Its so vast and has the ability to juxtapose its rolling country side hills with its hidden beaches and crashing waves so easily in a single turn of the head.

I'm looking forward to this weekend. We are going camping at Brokenhead, NSW. Its a trial run for the road trip. The tent is being aired as I type and Porter is now on board too, so it looks to be a fun and memorable three days. Im glad I've found my camera charger. Im such a numpty and lost it for a few days which has meant a lack of photos recently. It ws especially annoying today as Kristy and I had a lovely day at Tambourine Mountain taking the little one to Curtis Falls and taking Cream Tea (also know as Devonshire Tea here) in a lovely little garden before going to the chocolate shop and treating ourselves to home made chocolate bombs which were heavenly.

I must go ad preare for an evening of So You Think You Can Dance and Pizza with two awesome people. And do note, while I let my worries and homesickness flow through this keyboard, I am having the most wonderful time of my life and wouldn't exchange it for anything in the world.

TTFN.

Laura.

Safe on the Gold Coast

2010-03-08T01:01:00.000-08:00

I arrived in Brisbane on Friday morning local time and haven't looked back since. I've done more in the last three days here than the last 3 months in London - it feels good, and it doesnt feel strange.
Yesterday we went on an amazing walk around Springbrook National Park through the rainforests to see the waterfalls. Due to heavy rainfall over recent days (which has flooded much of the eastcoast)the waterfalls looked amazing and flowing with great ease.

Alongside being biten by mozzies, Ive now also had the pleasure of being sucked on by leeches. It never happend on my urban explorations of London.

The beach was just as lovely as the rainforest. Soft sand beneath my feet and the sound of breaking waves was awesome. I tried my hand at Boogie boarding which Im pretty into, I haven't tried surfing yet, but I can't wait.

Tomorrow will be my first day getting to know the gold coast on my own, which will should be intersting. Testing out public transport on the other side of the world and finding my own sound track to bum around Surfers to should be awesome.

Its a shame photos are pretty slow to upload to the net from here, but with some time I should get a nice selection up to show everyone.

Today I went to Dreamworld. The nicer parts of Dreamworld were huging a Koala amd feeding Kangaroos which was two things on my 'to-do' list of Australia. The 120ft giant drop wasnt as pleasant and after all the cursing like a sailor and telling Marc how much I hated him for convincing me to go on it, it was exciting, the view was amazing and the thrill was exillorating. Don't go on The Claw - its not cool.

Until next time.

Pocketful illustration magazine out now.

2010-02-27T04:34:00.000-08:00

I cant stop listening, my elbow refuses to move so here it is

2010-02-24T16:04:00.000-08:00

Blue jean baby, L.A. lady, seamstress for the band
Pretty eyed, pirate smile, you'll marry a music man
Ballerina, you must have seen her dancing in the sand
And now she's in me, always with me, tiny dancer in my hand

Jesus freaks out in the street
Handing tickets out for God
Turning back she just laughs
The boulevard is not that bad

Piano man he makes his stand
In the auditorium
Looking on she sings the songs
The words she knows the tune she hums

But oh how it feels so real
Lying here with no one near
Only you and you can hear me
When I say softly slowly

Hold me closer tiny dancer
Count the headlights on the highway
Lay me down in sheets of linen
you had a busy day today

lunchtime whine

2010-02-23T04:33:00.000-08:00

She can be so infuriating sometimes!

captain chaos

2010-02-21T12:35:00.000-08:00

This time next week I will be thinking that in two days I will be leaving the country.
I am excited, but I cant feel the tension with people around me. Their anxiety and sadness. My worry is that I

i've got a brand new pack of sharpies
i'm gonna use them to redraw everything
gonna make this into a world that i like living in
i'm gonna build us a castle, i'm gonna make you the queen
just let me know what you want and it's done
i will draw myself a little more handsome
but i'm gonna leave you just the way you are
let me look into your eyes, get some ideas for stars
i'm gonna draw you a little puppy that never gets old and always likes to play
i'm gonna draw you the biggest, softest bed i can imagine
would you rather have a hot air balloon or an airplane
just say the word and i'll get to work
i will black out the teeth of all the stupid jerks
but the ink will never touch your skin
because you are as beautiful as beautiful gets
and all the clocks will read 11:11
the alarms will have two positions they will be off, they will be off
your address will always be 7
i will be in 6 and we will never need to knock
there will be so many secret passageways
there will always be more food on our plates
we will sleep in and we will stay up late
you're the only thing that i'm not gonna change
i've got this brand new pack of sharpies
that i shoplifted today from the store
i'm gonna use them to redraw the whole world
for you and me, my dear, to explore
yeah, i've got this brand new pack of sharpies
the i shoplifted today from the store
and i'm gonna use them to redraw the whole world
for you and me, my dear, to explore

15 days

2010-02-18T12:39:00.000-08:00

Guide book and ticket at the ready, I leave on the 3rd March and arrive 5th March in Brisbane. I.AM.SO.EXCITED. I can't wait. I'm off to the Surfers Beer garden on the Saturday to embrace all that is Surfers Paradise.

Tomorrow I am going shopping in preparation for my Road Trip of the Australian East Coast.

I have stopped taking my Dicloflex. I am trying Glucosamine, Chondroitin and Omega 3 tablets along with a table spoon of cider vinegar a day. The cider vinegar tastes awful neat, and I haven't felt any benefits as of yet but I have nothing to loose really. I'm hoping the sunshine and warmth of the other side of the world will warm my bones and let me enjoy movement again.

I finish work on the 26th February and will be in The Vine from 4.30pm.

I have been listening to this compilation a lot recently. I'm really getting into Break The Habit. Its a free download, so go enjoy and spread the word of some awesome underground music.
Disconnect Disconnect Records Vol. 1

the sickness

2010-02-09T08:50:00.000-08:00

I've been prescribed Dicloflex for the arthritis.I feel giddy and nausea has set in though I've only been sick once so far.I'm putting that down to new chemicals in my body.
I'm still not able to play guitar again but I can cut my own food now which is less humiliating than the weekend.
Next bus stop is mine...

arthritis

2010-02-05T09:50:00.000-08:00

Hospital wards,clinics,x ray machines-ive seen them all,again this week.after a possible fractured elbow they found a conclusion;arthritis.its in my elbow, my ankle and possibly my shoulders.its strange.I have old people disease.I start physiso soon.I can't wait until the sun hits my bones and that smile hits my eyes,everything will be better then.

But I can't sleep, I'm too excited!

2010-02-01T12:21:00.000-08:00

Right now I am sat in the kitchen of my Dads house listening to the dishwasher drown out the song stuck in my head and the barking of the doors outside.
Everything that is happening at the moment is exciting and seems to be perfectly sound tracked by all the Pop Punk/Punk Rock Im listening to.
My room has been boxed up and my possesions are stacked tall in North London. I quit my job and finish in 4 weeks. Its all happening and Im looking forward to everything that what happen in the next year. There isn't one thing I feel I could regret in the near future.

Friday Das Club finally came to life. We drank, we danced, we sang along. It felt good. Thorntocon was a complete life saver bring his iPod decks with built in sound effects and headset mic. We all had fun. Nostalgia is what it used to be.

What I can remember playing in no particular order;
Twisted Charm - London Scene
My Chemical Romance - Im not Okay
Kenickie - In Your car
Lethal Bizzle - POW
The Simpsons - Deep Trouble
Beastie Boys - Slow and Low
Lady Sov - The Broom
Belle and Sebastian we rule the school
Idlewild - When I argue I see shapes
There was a load of other stuff, but my memory gets a little bit hazy after inviting everyone back for an after party.
LCD Soundsystem - Daft Punk is playing at my house

Im so excited about going to Australia. Im hiding my excitment from a lot of people at the moment for the simple reason, Im scared that like most things I say Im going to do - I don't, for one reason or another, I just never get round to it or something doesn't work out. If I let others know how much I want this, Im scared it wont happen.
In my head Im dancing to my favorite song with all the energy I have and like a rocket I buzz around the happiest I have ever been.

I have an exhibition to prepare for on Friday, please excuse me.

Until next time.
Laura Mardon.

my drawing their arm

2010-01-18T13:35:00.000-08:00

Steve got one of my drawings tattoo'd on his arm. It looks like this;

this and that.

2010-01-11T12:25:00.000-08:00

Sirens blare out, cascade around like the rain between the tower blocks that fill this town. Criminals and Police constables go get your guns, i might be down on my luck but I'm still up for fun.
I'll paint my guitar white and chain it to a fence to let everyone know that punk rock is dead. I once scratch drunk slurs into police vans its just how I felt said this broken heart has fucked me up worse than Dresden.
But then I got got that you're never to punk to kiss, we were drunk the lights hit the stage and the band were playing our favorite song and we sang a long and every word we sang just meant that much more.

I can't wait

2010-01-06T10:37:00.000-08:00

sickening right. I love it.

Tattoo - Fin.

2010-01-03T14:10:00.000-08:00

By Lucy at Into You Tattoo, London.

I don't think I actually posted a picture of it finished yet. I'm very happy with it. Very happy.
win.

Happy new year y'all

2010-01-02T12:02:00.000-08:00

drawings

2009-12-30T09:34:00.001-08:00

I've uploaded more photos and drawings to my flickr

Photos

2009-12-30T09:28:00.000-08:00

Christmas

2009-12-23T07:41:00.000-08:00

Christmas has crept up so quickly this year. The last two months have in fact.
I've had an amazing autumn-winter cross over, and I'm missing that feeling dearly, but at this moment there's not much I can do about it.

This is my first day off work for the holidays and Im not too sure what to do with myself. I feel a little lost.

I recorded a song the other day.

A song I can sing

transfere project! | MySpace Music Videos

It seems very cold outside, its cold in here too, there's no gas.

Until next time.
Happy holidays.

D A S C L U B

2009-12-19T15:53:00.000-08:00

photos

2009-12-19T15:45:00.000-08:00

The Bedroom in the early hours of the morning, I couldn't sleep that night.

I left early for work the next day after pacing for too long

http://www.flickr.com/photos/powpapowpow/

Pocketful illustration magazine

2009-12-12T06:22:00.000-08:00

http://www.pocketfulmag.com/submissions/LauraMardon.htm

Lately

2009-12-06T11:37:00.000-08:00

Billy Talent at Brixton Academy, 1st November 2009

I have been very busy losing cameras, desparing at broken mac chargers and having far too much fun just hanging out and going to gigs.

Rise Against at Brixton Academy, 21st November 2009.

I have a lot more pictures on my Mac which I cant get to until I can borrow Rob's charger. Until then I'm using Marc's laptop which only has a few of my photos on.

Christmas parties this coming week - let's see where they will take me.

I have finally got some batteries for my Olympus superzoom 110, can't wait to get my first set developed.

camera

2009-11-25T10:26:00.000-08:00

I lost my digital camera last night at the Canterbury gig.

Extremely sad.

Can you give me a new one please.

Ponytail article

2009-11-02T14:19:00.000-08:00

in progress

2009-10-31T05:57:00.000-07:00

coming soon (zine)

2009-10-28T10:34:00.000-07:00

Throwing Up In Comic Sans presents;

camera / bible Zine

portrait / self portrait

2009-10-28T06:16:00.000-07:00

Lonely Ghosts

2009-10-24T07:41:00.001-07:00

The two lonely Ghosts records I worked on early in the year are now up for pre-release on the OIB records website

I don't know if there are any physical copies yet, but I'm excited none the less.

Come down from the mountain / Ghosts of mice 7" vinyl

Return from the search party Album

http://www.myspace.com/lonelyghosts

flickr?

2009-10-20T10:39:00.001-07:00

wait, what wheres Flickr gone? Is anyone else having Flickr issues?

What do I do with my time now?

self portrait of a social tumour

2009-10-19T10:59:00.000-07:00

new submission.

how do you feel when you cycle?

2009-10-18T14:23:00.000-07:00

ill again.

2009-10-15T01:45:00.000-07:00

I dont feel well again today. I don't like this, I had plans tonight. sigh. Today it is just me and the cat -the flat is our oyster.

Ho hum. Bored now. can I get better please.

drawings

2009-10-10T03:43:00.000-07:00

Two illustrations for Ponytail magazine.

I have the internet

2009-10-06T10:32:00.000-07:00

...its a wonderful invention. Im back. Expect many posts.

right now.

2009-08-19T05:27:00.000-07:00

Right now I am being tattoo'd by Lucy at Into You.Colouring in the roses on my leg-poppy red ironicaly.
I had another birthday this year so I'm one year older than this time last year.
Ouch!the shin is killer. I veto my original statement from 5 weeks ago when I said it didn't.it makes me blink a lot.the rest is fine, as fine as it is to have a needle graze you leg.
Life has been very strange the last few weeks.Birthdays, aniversaries, deaths and phone calls and emails. But such is life.
I've just recently completed two new illustrations to go along side an interview (about my work) for Ponytail Magazine.I'm not going to upload them to the net until its published, but I'm really pleased with them.
I'm really craving a snickers and a nice sandwich,I hope the sandwich place next to into you is open when I finish. It looks pretty good.home made banana cake-win.
I'm going to see the Get Up Kids later which I'm really excited about, I just hope I won't be limping around all night.

Its really hard to focus on writting while being tattoo'd.

Off I go.

today

2009-08-13T14:06:00.000-07:00

You said you'd never hate on me well give it time and you will see, I know I promised you a branch on my family tree.
For you were I would build a swing take you to the stars and those cliched thing
And we would send our carefree days lazed about but then we changed.
I know I promised you a wedding ring that band of gold
The songs we'd sing through the happy days of our memories.
But I fell into anothers bed and though it was meant it never felt so bad
But when I was young I said no regrets and I'm sorry as I feel that way now.
And when I see you falling apart sweet heart I know we were solid gold so tell all your friends I never meant anything or so the story goes.

2009-08-04T01:01:00.000-07:00

Ill but not dying, Must get to work.
Ment to be playing gig today and tomorrow but can barely speak.
Help. Advise please.

Dear World.

2009-07-28T11:35:00.000-07:00

Dear World,

Panda to my every need.

Regards,

Laura Mardon.

Most Evil.

2009-07-22T14:16:00.000-07:00

Most Evil.

Abandon buildings of North Woolwich.

Le Lac aux Requins

2009-07-18T09:56:00.000-07:00

How many times can TinTin be hit on the head and suffer mild concushion in one life time? I wanted to watch Le Lac aux Requins but the DVD player wont allow it so I am watching L'affaire Tournesol which I haven't seen before. It is an earlier episode than I'd like to have watch but Im in the mood for some Tompson and Thompson tomfoolery.

On thursday I went down to Tower Bridge to check out Pavilion Tones kiosk which was awesome. I wish I had taken some pictures, but we were too busy drinking beer which is clearly very important.

Tintin is such a clever chap, he has just worked out the Professor wasn't the professor, but now the house is on fire because the gangsters are trying to kill him and destroy the evidence.

I think I might read in a minute, but what?

most evil

2009-07-13T13:34:00.000-07:00

weekend/weekstart

2009-07-12T12:43:00.000-07:00

im glad this weekend has finally slowed down. My keys hit the door at midnight Saturday and as I inched nearer my bed it felt good.I showed up fours hours late for my own party after over indulging at a work function. vodka, gin and a crate of beer later I was inside and singing along to Wham. A good night fell into a good morning. Much to shock and suprise of many at the party, I wore a dress.

Saturday was a slightly more reserved affair with a family members birthday, I could bearly sip my beer, but like any good Mardon, I continued with it. Old familar faces and two phone calls with Curtis made for an awesome night. I never was that comfortable talking on the phone. I probably seem as stiff as a board to those on the other end even now but I'm getting better. There was one point when I didn't even talk on the phone so wanting to actually use a phone for a conversation not just because I have to share nessersary information.

Today I went for a walk and refamilarised myself with the neighbourhood. It was a lovely sunny day again after the cool summer rain of last night. It has started to annoy me everytime the sun goes in, a breeze picks up or a summer storm sets in someone will feel the need to say "well thats summer over with..." No, no its not. Summer is 3 months, like any other season. It is the name given to a time frame of relitivity to plot out the distance between occurancses.

I finally cut my hair today and wondered what I'd look like with a beard.

New tattoo

2009-07-08T12:23:00.000-07:00

Three hours in the chair with Lucy at Into You and this is what happened. Im so happy about it and cant wait until its finished, im looking forward to having it filled in though I forgot about the fact tattooing doesn't feel like lying on clouds of cotton candy.
I don't get people who say they could never have a tattoo because of the pain - if you want it, you want it and you get it. Its all part of it, and i think its hard to explain if you've not had a tattoo before.
Also, how can someone be 'anti-tattoo' I mean just look at how amazingly beautiful they can be. 'Anti-cowboy tattooists' defiently, 'Anti-stupid people who get things for the hell of it without thinking of the consequences' yes, but never anti-tattoos. That's like saying "I'm anti-graffiti but I like it when they've done it properly" Agree? Yes. Good. < / rant >

I'm actually super stoked more than anyone will ever know about my new ink. RAD.

T-shirts

2009-07-06T14:32:00.000-07:00

Hand painted t-shirts made for the This Will Kill That art market. £7 each. I was pretty drained by the end of the day, but that may have had something to do with Mijitos and spray paint.

They will be on sale at the Alternative Press Fair and there is a special plan in the works for a months time, where you will be able to buy many more t-shirt designs, along side bags and more. I'm very excited.

thunder

2009-06-15T10:22:00.000-07:00

Wow, I forgot how amazing thunder and lightning is. I love the sound and the smell of the rain.
I haven't sat down and written anything for a while. I feel like I've hit the ground running recently but don't think that is a bad thing.its great actually. There are many great things happening right now; tax rebates, payday, BBQs, people and the countryside.
Work is work and its happening there some in the 9-5 background.
I can't get over the grandure of the thunder I'm going to go and sit in the conservitory and read graham greene

weekend

2009-05-30T10:50:00.000-07:00

I found an proper photo booth last night - EC2 based obviously, but exciting none the less. Berlin is drawing nearer.
Back in Hospital this weekend for more X-Rays and blood tests. Do they not have enough of my blood already? And they don't let you keep the X-Rays either, I mean what is the world coming too, though I do suggest if you are going to a London hospital go to Guys.

I have two gigs next week on the 3rd and 4th June. Both in London - one at the Foundry in Old Street (3rd) and the other is a benefit gig for Rape Crisis in Stamford hill with really good bands. One is free and the other by donation, though I will be selling CDs and merch on both nights where all the donations/sales money will be going straight to Rape Crisis.

I worte a new song today, its up here;
myspace http://www.myspace.com/transfereproject
Its called 'Letter from a loved one'
"A solider in a trench opens a letter from a loved one
It read Dad I cant miss you when you prefer bullets and guns
to the comfort of this home not that it is one
mum's crying on the phone saying
i'm not sure but a day is gonna come

you said you'd take care of us,
forget about me,theres woman in this house
has turned half ghost, half mystery
empty shopping lists, ruby stained lips
said shes waiting on a dead mans return.

a flag show up on a door step,
Ironed out drapped
over a casket in a garden
by an oak tree with more history
than this song or this guitar
family photos hung so neatly
flies in the wind where you said you'd come greet me
child standing by a grave not sure why they're so proud
like a flag could save anything,
you said ours would save the world
mother said a dignified death
like a child supposed to know at 7 years old what that meant

I'll march without guns,
against everything you've done.
our voices raised high that day
but I only heard one
from that stranger with a flag
telling me I should be a proud son."

Im listening to 'old school bootleg mash-up's' though they're not really old school - circa 2002-2004, from Dsico. It reminds me off my days a DJ...ahh, fun times.

Got the proofs back for Return from the Search Party - looking swish even if I do say so myself, can't wait to get a hard copy in my hands.

Its too sunny be be sat here in front of this screen -

BENEFIT GIG FOR RAPE CRISIS 4TH JUNE

2009-05-28T05:11:00.000-07:00

Hey guys

Hope all is well. Just a quick message to give details on the gig on June 4th. It is at Pangea Project, 72 Stamford Hill, Stoke Newington and the doors are at 7.30.

Out Of Step are putting it on, and there is a flyer below with all the details for the night. I get to play with RAD bands as well so Im really excited about this night.

Please help spread the word! It'd be great if we could get loads of cash for Rape Crisis, as they're an amazing group.

Cheers!

t/p!

Link to the flier is here: http://i212.photobucket.com/albums/cc164/outofstepmusicnight/rapecrisisflyer.jpg

Skate Deck

2009-05-14T09:24:00.000-07:00

i posted a wee while ago about a suprise I was making, and realised that it was no longer a surprise.

Original design for Lonely Ghosts Mini album Dont Get Lost Or Hurt

Lonely Ghosts - Return From the Search Party deck (hand painted / oil paint with matte gloss finish)

The bigger picture - fin.

forgotten websites.

2009-05-11T12:58:00.000-07:00

Hats of Meat.

I have a new scanner, updates this evening but you don't want to know that.

A&E

2009-05-10T13:47:00.000-07:00

Saturday night is alright - if you have the patience of a saint at the Royal Free Hospital.
Alas, my story telling abilities are lacking today due to the shear anger and frustration from the night before. Gadzooks, I had become so irked by the situation I am still unable to talk about it without swearing every other second.
In short, no story.

cat piano

2009-05-04T10:42:00.000-07:00

The cat piano was the work of a German scholar over 350 years ago. Athanasius Kircher designed the cat piano and documented it in the Musurgia Universalis in 1650. The piano was designed to raise the spirits of an Italian prince who was too stressed out. The musician would select cats whose voices were at different pitches then arrange them in the pens accordingly. The piano delivered sharp pokes into the tails of the cats.

London Zine Symposium

2009-05-04T09:16:00.000-07:00

Ah man, LZS was awesome! I met some amazing people and well, just had a very lovely time. I didn't manage to get around to seeing every stall, but those I did see were lovely.
I think I spent most of my profit on other zines, but it was worth it.

Thankfully Rob and James helped out with the stall so I could stretch my legs every now and then. If they hadn't I wouldn't have been able to pick up
Melon Farmer 2&3 - RAD.
http://aligon-adventures.blogspot.com

Electric Baby - RAD
http://comicsandzines.wordpress.com/

Ynfytyn - COOL
http://emmajanefalconer.co.uk

Aesop's Fables - COOL
http://compromisecomics.com

and loads of others I haven't read yet.

I didn't take too many pictures, I wish I had now.

Distro list and info coming this week.

London Zine Symposium this weekend!

2009-04-28T09:56:00.000-07:00

LONDON ZINE SYMPOSIUM!

http://www.londonzinesymposium.org.uk/

I have finished the suprise

2009-04-21T12:34:00.000-07:00

I have finished the surprise and I really wish I could post it. Im pretty please with it.

surprise!

2009-04-20T11:00:00.000-07:00

It was nice to have the office back to normal-far too noisey with too many under 18s running around.it was so quiet over the last two weeks it got scarey.
So,I digress-its after work and I have been working on a surprise for someone, fingers crossed it will be RAD!sanding is hard work damn son my wrist feels messed up.
Super stoked.
Got some new photos up at
http://www.flickr.com/photos/powpapowpow

BlckbrryBye.

Updates

2009-04-17T12:24:00.000-07:00

Well, I can't remember if I have posted anything recently as my head has been everywhere over the last few days.
A lot of strange things have been happening to me, well maybe not strange, but the timing of each event has caused me to feel very strange to say the least.
Its like to many of my past lives have been mentioned in too short a time frame to be coincidence. I just don't get it.
I've also been ill again, which, like every other sickness bestowed upon me is a right royal pain in the arse. I have far too much work to be getting on with to be ill, both in the office and with the symposium on the way - I just don't have time for this.

The zine is coming along very nicely though. The front cover is awesome, while the stories and images are coming on just swell, I can't wait to get it finished and printed up.
My typewriter is taking the brunt of trying frantically to stick to my own deadlines. Needs must, and my other typewriter is a pussy who couldn't take a punch like good ol' trusty.

Tomorrow I'm going to try and eat some food and keep it down. Vomiting is my vice at the moment. My defect, perhaps my shortcoming, not so much an evil practice of sexual immorality - or is it; I'm not sure.

Im going to take some photos later tonight to post.

If you would like to contribute anything to THROWING UP IN COMIC SANS -
throwingupincomicsans@gmail.com
DEADLINE - SUNDAY 19th APRIL.

I have put my deposit down for my new ink. July 8th I cannot wait.